Always, Never and Flying Monkeys

Despite my recent post to the contrary, Eliza Grace still leans towards the negative, especially in the morning as we head out the door for school.

"I don't want to go to school."

"It is always boring."

"I never have any fun."

This morning was no exception.

As Eliza Grace began to espouse all the things about school she did not like, I predictably responded with the realities of life.

"Life is not only about having fun."

"You do enjoy lots of things about school, beyond just recess and lunch."

"There are people all over this planet who would do just about anything to have the educational experiences that you have."

"You don't have a choice, sweetie, you have to go to school so why only focus on the negative. Let's focus on the positive!"

Her negativity tends to seep into my and Will's psyche, so I was trying hard to keep us all upbeat.

Unfortunately, the conversation is a circular trap and she continued to complain about how she never has fun and is always bored, while I kept pushing for her to see the upside.

As we entered the car pool lane, I inevitably pulled out the standard "you shouldn't use the words 'always' and 'never' because it is just not true.

To which she immediately responded, "Well what about talking pigs? It's true when I can say pigs will "never" talk. And I am telling the truth when I say that monkeys will "never" fly out of my butt."

Well, she's got me there, Ed.

I couldn't control my bark of appalled laughter, which thankfully broke all the negative energy.

Of course when she gets home we will have a nice talk about certain phrases that I never want to hear her repeat.

Flashback Friday - Our Little Man

Back in early 2005 I uttered the following words to Scott in a fit of parental frustration: "Why would anyone who has ever had a three year old willingly have another child?!"

I think God took that as a dare. A few weeks later I realized that we were expecting baby number two.

Scott was a bit obtuse when I tried to tell him.

I was cooking dinner - Eliza Grace underfoot - and he asked me why I did not sell the toddler push car yet. I kept saying, "I'll tell you later." He kept asking, "Why can't you tell me now?" I told him, " We might need it." "For what?!" he asked. I told him, "I'm barefoot...I'm in the kitchen...."

He just stared at me.

"Oohhhhh." Yea, that finally got through to him.

32 weeks later Will arrived with the support of a lovely epidural, thank you Lord Jesus.

I was nervous about being a mother to a son. Why I have no idea. He is our silly, adorable, sensitive, crazy, smart, funny, sweet little man and we all just love him so.

Wouldn't be long now. I was low and large.

Eliza Grace wanted to hug the baby.

Did I mention I was large?

November 23, 2005: William Foster Hughes
8 lbs, 8oz, 22 inches...
and a slightly broken collar bone 

First visit with Grandmommy

Getting ready to head home

"I pity the fool!" (Because he has that Mr. T look...
except he doesn't have a mohawk... and he's a baby...and he's white. But other than that....)

Male bonding

Proud big sister

Will's Daily Farewell Address

Man, I love my little boy. I especially love that he is not yet at the age where he gets shy or embarrassed about giving me kisses, hugs and/or telling me he loves me when in public.

His daily goodbyes at the bus stop are a great example of this. The other parents get a kick out of his long and repetitive farewell as he boards the bus each day. Sometimes he tells me to "have fun at work" but I especially love that he tells me to "make good choices, Mommy" - the same advice I give him each day. It is a good reminder for both of us!

Not to be outdone, Eliza Grace has on occasion chimed in with, "Don't get fired, Mom." Gee, thanks sweetie.

I love this little ritual so much that I captured today's on video, which was actually a little shorter than usual:

Play Date + Rain Storm = Dance Party!

Will finally got to have his long awaited play date with his best buddy Gabe. We'd planned to go to the neighborhood pool, but a storm came along as we were heading out the door.

No worries, though, they burned off energy just the same:

Flashback Friday - Little House in the Mountains

Back in 1999, Scott and I and another couple bought a house on Little Grandfather Mountain in Laurel Springs, NC.

Laurel Springs is in Alleghany County, the upper most Western corner of North Carolina, where NC, Virginia and Tennessee meet. The house was two miles from the famed Blue Ridge Parkway and 10 minutes from the New River.

It was one of a handful dwellings near the top of Little Grandfather Mountain. A brisk 10 minute walk up the rest of the road brought you to the top and to Church's Christmas tree farm and their family hunting camp. Our little house - and half of the mountain - had been owned by the Church family. The elder Mr. Church would come calling every now and then - sometimes with a pie to share- to sit and chat with whomever was at the cabin at the time.

Built in the 1940's, the interior was all wood. The whole interior: floors, walls, ceilings. It was little, wooden and adorable!

Our property bordered the Thurmond Chatham Game Land and Black Bear sanctuary. This meant there would never be any development near our little house. It also meant that not only were there bears in the area, they were encouraged to be there! Needless-to-say, we were very careful and never left any trash outside.

Except for January and February, we we up there nearly every other weekend for 3 years.

We loved it. Lucy, our dog, loved it. Our friends and family loved it (I'm looking at you, Kris!)

But, alas, we learned a hard lesson of buying something with another family. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.

Unfortunately, we felt like our only option was to sell our half to our partner's ex-wife and so we had to say goodbye to our little place in the woods. It was really hard to do. But trust me when I say it really was the only option.

Man, do we miss it. I miss how relaxed Scott was when we were up there. We miss the peace and comfort of our own little getaway. And so do our friends - still looking at you, Kris!

We keep thinking one day we will find another perfect little place in the perfect location...hopefully one day we will!

The living area looking toward the back deck.

The living area looking toward the front door.

The galley kitchen with its open shelves

The master bedroom

The hall and the bathroom

Sunset from the back deck
From the top of the mountain looking into Tennessee
Looking into Virginia

Half Full Logic

The other day Eliza Grace noticed someone wearing this Life is Good© t-shirt:
I asked her if she understood the underlying message in the words. She didn't, so I talked about optimists and pessimists (or as Scott prefers, realists) and how people see circumstances from different perspectives.

I told her I was more of a 'glass half full' person because I prefer to see the upside of a situation and expect the best outcome. Her Dad is more 'glass half empty,' as he tends to anticipate the downside of a situation and feels more prepared in the event of a negative outcome. I then asked her if she thought she was a 'half full' or 'half empty' kind of person.

Her first response was that felt she was more 'half empty' because she tends to anticipate the worst of a situation first. She was then quiet and thoughtful for a moment and then said this:

"Wait a minute. You know, I take that back. The word empty means there is nothing. And so 'glass half empty' doesn't make sense because there is something in the glass to begin with. So I think I should be a 'glass half full' person from now on. Because, no matter how little is in there, at least it's something."

Can't argue with that logic.

Will's Next Big Milestone!

So I finally bought Will a pair of lace up tennis shoes for the sole purpose of learning how to tie them.

30 minutes after I brought the shoes in the door:

Jacque Goes to Nashville

Last weekend my husband gave me a wonderful gift: a weekend away to do something that was just for me.

My fellow Moms, Dads and family caretakers of every kind understand what a gift that is.

You see, I am sort of in the midst of what could be a mid-life crisis. I say "sort of" because there is no way I can be old enough to be in mid-life, right?

Anyway, I have felt very unmotivated and unrewarded in my job over the past several years. Not a good thing when it comprises 50+ hours of my life each week.

For a while I have been asking questions like:

• What would I rather be doing?
• What's my passion?
• What's my purpose in life?
• What do I want to be when I grow up?
• Why do I have this much stress over preparing an email for someone else to send that no one will read when there are people in Africa with no clean drinking water?

The result of the dissatisfaction with my job has been that I have changed jobs (within the same company) 4 times in 4 years. Yeah, it didn't make a darn bit of difference.

So what, you ask, does all this have to do with Nashville? Hold your horses, I'm getting there.

I went to Nashville to attend Jon Acuff's Quitter Conference. I have been reading Jon's blog Stuff Christians Like since the day it was launched around 4 years ago. Jon's writing is mostly hilarious and sometimes soul-wrenching as he focuses on what it means to be a Christian. He is also someone who was a self-professed serial "quitter," who had 8 different jobs in 8 years trying to find that one dream job. Once he did get his dream job, he wrote a book called Quitter to help others rediscover their passions and get out of the "I'm a _____ but I want to be a ______" rut. People like me.

You see, I'm a communications manager but I want to be a millionaire philanthropist stay-at-home Mom.

Ok, well perhaps that one is a bit unrealistic, especially with the current economic environment and my lack of wealthy relatives.

More realistically, I'm a communications manager but I want to be writer. Or a coach. Or a dozen other things different from what I am doing now.

The question is how do I get from here to there?

And that's why I went to Nashville. To hang out with 183 other "Quitters" who want to make to their dream job a reality.

Do I know what my dream job is? Nope. Still not sure. But this past weekend gave me lots of time to think and consider and wonder and ponder. And that, my friends, is a gift.

And even better than all that, I got to stay in the best accommodations that the Nashville area offers: Chez Saxon.

Thank you Karen Marie, Dale and Claire for welcoming me into your beautiful home and making me feel like family. And when Claire releases her first CD I can tell everyone I knew her when!

(Me, Claire, Karen Marie)