Saturday, June 25, 2011

What Have They Done To Me?!

Woof. Bark. Growl. Howwwwllll

Oh, sorry, I forgot I needed to speak human.

Alpha let me borrow her blog because I just had to vent.

You see, it all started about 2 weeks ago. I was just sitting around minding my own business, licking what I pleased and chewing on my toys. Life was great!

I mean, Alpha was always trying to brush the giant knots out of my fur but aside from that, life was one big air-conditioned dog house!

Then one evening, Alpha started running around like a crazy lady, dragging down these big things with wheels and throwing clothes in them. The older pups started grabbing pillows and stuffed animals - which, by the way they do NOT share with me - and Alpha's mate started stuffing all kinds of wires and gadgets into bag after bag.

I had no clue what was going on but when Alpha told me we were going for a car ride, I was psyched! She was so nice, gave me a treat and didn't even make me sit in that crate in the car.

When we pulled up to the "place that shall not be named," Alpha was all "come on sweet Chewie. That's a good boy, Chew Chew" so I was not too freaked out. I overheard Alpha say something like "please do what you can with his fur" but I figured they would try to brush me or give me a bath. Not my cup of kibble but I figured I would survive.

What happened next makes my nub of a tail tuck way under. In fact, I think I've blocked most of it out but suffice it to say it was the worst 9 days of my entire 6 month old life!

After Alpha left, the days all blurred together. One day they stuck me with needles. Another day I took a nap and when I woke up, I was missing my FAMILY JEWELS! The family jewels people. There goes any hope I ever had for leading my own pack!

And if that was not bad enough, just look what they did to me.

This is what I looked like the day before Alpha took me to the vet:
And this is what I look like now:
When she came to pick me up she told them they had the wrong dog!

It was humiliating.

Ok, sure, less fur means I am cooler but, seriously? I. Look. Ridiculous!

My name is Chewbacca people. Have you ever seen a HAIRLESS WOOKIE?

Please tell me it will grow back!

And while you are at it, please tell Alpha to stop calling me the "The Rat."

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