Daughter of the King.

Last night our American Heritage Girl (AHG) troop celebrated a wonderful tradition of honoring our 6th grade girls who will be moving to a new level in the spring. This event includes having the girls' fathers say a few words about their daughters and present them with a gift.

As part of the proceedings, the audience is told about a badge the girls have earned called "Daughter of the King."  

Here's what the AHG handbook says about being a daughter of the King:

"You are a daughter of the King! Though our culture may try to tell us differently, God sees each of us as beautiful, worthy of love, and full of potential!  It is important for us to hold these truths dear and live our lives accordingly, as our identity is in Him and we are made in His image."

As her mother, I make a concentrated effort to help Eliza Grace see her amazing worth and potential just as God as made her.

And Scott?  As her father he is KEY to this understanding. 

The relationship with, and the love and acceptance of, a daughter's earthy father immeasurably impacts her relationship with her heavenly Father, her self-image and, eventually, her relationships with other men.

Which brings me back to the events of last night.

Eliza Grace's sweet, sweet Daddy took the words he would say and the gift he would present very seriously.
Scott very publicly and eloquently told his daughter that he loves her and how proud he is of his smart, loving and quick-witted girl. He spoke about how much she has grown and matured in confidence.

He told the audience that she is a very brave and loyal young lady who is not afraid to try new things, voice her opinion or speak up for her friends and her beliefs.

He then presented her with a beautiful silver Claddagh ring, which he researched and picked out himself. He explained how he felt that the story behind the Claddagh described his daughter and how he felt about her. Take a look:

As he started to put the ring on her finger, he stopped and said, "Whoops, not that way.  That way would mean you're married," which got a chuckle from the audience and a mild look of horror from Eliza Grace.

Words have power and I know that the words of love and acceptance Eliza Grace heard from her earthly father will forever impact how she views herself and her heavenly Father.

She is beautiful. She is worthy of love. She is full of potential.

Eliza Grace is a daughter of the King.

TWELVE!

It's amazing to think that our baby girl is 12 years old today! 

Her Daddy and I made her favorite dinner (steak with goat cheese)  and dessert (cherry pie with vanilla ice cream) and her brother serenaded her with song!


Typically our kids get to do a birthday celebration with friends on even numbered birthdays, but everything Eliza Grace wanted to do wasn't open in January. 

Because of this I suggested that we wait until spring and then we can have a belated celebration.  She has a simply wonderful idea to have fun with friends while also benefiting others.  We can't wait to share the details in a few months.

In the meantime, Happy Birthday to our sweet girl who brings such joy to our lives!

What the Second Grader Could Teach The Grown Ups...

Will wrote  this at school today. 

He pretty much nailed it.

Love, love his sweet, honest and loving heart.

Translation:
"I love November especially Thanksgiving because I get to spend time with my family and have a good meal.  Don't worry about black Friday be thankful for what you have don't push or shove or fight over a toy because that's just not right.  Don't be sad be glad that you have a family that loves you."

Mother's Day 2013

I've had a lovely weekend.

North Carolina's weather seems to have fully committed to Spring and we have had both plenty of rain and warm sunshine.

On Saturday evening, I took a quick drive over to Winston-Salem to have dinner with my Mother and my three sisters so we could celebrate Mother's day together.  

Mom, Dawn, Heidi and Me in a blurry iPhone pic.

We forgot to take a picture at the restaurant and when we finally remembered to take one, Kelly had already left :(  

Trey was too far away to join us but he was there in spirit! 

We had good food and lots of laughs, which was just what we all needed.

Mother's Day Sunday began with breakfast in bed, which was very nice, despite the fact that Will and Eliza Grace ate my toast and Chewie nearly upended the whole thing when he jumped on the bed.  Scott's omelet was divine, as always.

After church I used my "1 hour nap" coupon given to me by Eliza Grace.

Heavenly.

Scottie made his fabulous bread and grilled steaks for dinner.  I prepared a salad straight from our garden and we had watermelon for dessert.

And just when I thought the day couldn't get much better, I was told it was time for the show.

Eliza Grace had written a song for me and got her brother to run the props.

Will had prepared a little something as well.  My shy guy offered something short and sweet.

Definitely feeling the love today.

And The Children Will Lead Us

Despite the bright, sunny sky this morning, the whole family was feeling very homebody-ish.  Most Sunday mornings we look forward to heading out the door to the church we love. But today we decided we wanted to hang out at home, just the four of us.

A few minutes after we decided to stay home, Eliza Grace said that she wanted to lead us in a church service.  A fabulous idea! (and a little convicting, no?)

Over the next hour, while we played some of our favorite contemporary Christian music, Eliza Grace worked on the message she wanted to share, creating what she referred to as "grown up" church as well as a kids program for Will.

When we were all seated on the couch, Eliza Grace welcomed us and began her message on how to deal with anger.  (There's that conviction again.)

She gave us a scenario of activities we encounter throughout a typical day, asking us to provide input about different things that might happen to make us angry.  Each time we told her something that might make us angry, she blew a balloon up a little bit. 

Each angry reaction resulted in the balloon getting bigger and bigger until the last straw caused the balloon to fly out of control - just like what can happen when we are angry.

She then repeated the scenario, this time allowing the balloon to lose a little air after each time she blew it up. "As you can see," she said,"if you let some of your anger go each time, you won't get to the point where you burst after letting the anger build up all day."

She then read from the Bible. "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20. She then led us in prayer, asking God to help us better control our anger.

Wow.

Next came the kids program.  Eliza Grace had cut out hearts for her and Will to decorate. 

It was a fabulous, wonderful, convicting, splendid church service at our house today. We do so love our child who has a heart and soul for God.

Flashback Friday: Cute Pics of My Little Chicks - 2008

The Daddy sandwich!

"We are the music makers"

'Smores around the Dusek's fire pit

"Read me a book, Eliza Grace!"

Cheesy smiles

Today She Is 10!

Ten years ago today Scott and I became parents.  The first time I held Eliza Grace in my arms, the only thing I kept thinking was, "I'm a mommy! Finally!"

Welcome to double digits and happy, happy birthday to our sweet, smart, beautiful daughter!

***

The birthday girl chose to have a party at The Scrap Exchange in Durham. The kids had a great time creatively finding ways to turn trash into treasures. They also enjoyed the mint chocolate chip/chocolate cake ice cream cake!

Eliza Grace picked out her cute party outfit. Accessory gifts from Grandmommy and Aunt Michelle added just the right touch!

 Seriously? How cute is she??

 

'66 + '67 x '88 / '93 = 17 years

December 6, 1966: (Pittsburgh, PA) Jacqueline Marlowe Cavanagh is born.

(So yes, ok, I admit that I was born in PA. However, given that my family moved back to North Carolina when I was two plus the fact that I grew up to attend and graduate from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill essentially negates those first two years rendering me therefore a true North Carolina native...who happens to be a bit of a Steelers fan.)

Me: Blond with naturally curly hair - what happened?
And why did someone allow me to put a death grip on that poor cat?

April 8, 1967: (Lafayette, IN) Stefan Scott Hughes is born.

Apparently Scott has always been a snazzy dresser.

May 18, 1988: (Lake Buena Vista, FL) Jacque Cavanagh arrives on Villa De Costa Drive, knocks on an apartment door and says, "Hi! Holly told me to come here and ask for someone named Scott Hughes to see if I can sleep on the couch in the girl's apartment. Is he here? Oh, he is already at the Magic Kingdom working on the Davey Crockett Explorer Canoes? Ok, well will you tell him that Jacque stopped by and needs to talk to him?"

Scottie doing his spiel entertaining folks while they paddle a 2000 pound free floating canoe around the Rivers of America.

May 23, 1988: (Lake Buena Vista, FL) For the first time, Scott Hughes speaks directly to Jacque Cavanagh (who cranes her neck to see past his sternum) asking her, " You 21 yet?"

September 25, 1993: (Winston-Salem, NC) Scott and Jacque walk down the aisle in a small ceremony attended by close friends and family. At the reception, the new Mrs. Hughes manages to say typically embarrassing things like, "Thank you all for being here. This has been a long time in coming!"

Ah, so young and unwrinkled!

September 25, 2010: (Cary, NC) Scott and Jacque enjoy their 17th wedding anniversary on a quiet Saturday hanging out with their kids and doing household chores.

Not particularly glamorous, but absolutely worth celebrating!

Happy number 17, Scottie!

The Kiss

It was a long week. A frustrating week. The kind of week where I waffled between self-loathing and self-pity. Why me? Why not me?

I was tired.

I was tired of myself.

I went to bed.

It was 3:30 in the morning when you called me to your room.

"Mommy, that stupid cough woke me up and I have to go potty."

"Don't say stupid, honey," I said. "Come on and let's go to the bathroom and take your cough medicine."

We finished in the bathroom and inevitably you asked, "Mommy, will you sleep with me for just a little bit."

I sighed. I really wanted my own bed. My own pillow. But I scooted in beside you, thanking God for the wisdom to buy you a double bed. We settled in and I said, a little gruffly, "Please go back to sleep."

I started to drift off but suddenly I could sense you looking at me. I looked at you beneath my eye lashes and saw you were leaning on your hand watching me.

You started to move closer to me and I was just about to scold you for keeping me awake when you leaned all the way over and gave me the softest kiss on my cheek. "I love you Mommy," you said quietly and then you laid down and closed your eyes.

Then I slept the sleep of the loved and the content.

This made my day...

Scene:
Hughes home, laundry room, 8:15am Monday morning. Will Hughes is putting on his shoes to head out to pre-school.

Will: Mommy?

Me: Yes, Sweetie?

Will: You know what?

Me: What?

Will: I love my home.

Me: I love our home too.

End scene.

I love it when totally unprompted things like that come out of my children's mouths.

Lovin' on Lucy

Last weekend was one of those dreary, cold, rainy weekends where everyone goes a bit stir crazy.

The kids were bouncing off the walls and driving mom and dad bonkers.

But, it gave ample time for loving all over Lucy. Lucy, our 13 1/2 year old mutt extrodinaire, took it in stride.

So of course, I got out my camera to catch all the hugging and smooching.

Things started out calmly enough. Lucy is

practically asleep on her feet.

Then they started scratching her ears

Eliza Grace went for Lucy's cheek

So of course Will wanted in on the action

Then they both went in for the smooch - you

can barely see Lucy's nose in the middle

Then Will wanted just one more smooch....

...and Lucy licked his lips!

I love my little girl's heart

Well, those of you who know me know that I am sometimes pretty hard on Eliza Grace. It is not that I am a tyrant or a "mommy dearest" type. It is more that we have such similar personalities and, as is typical in human nature, all the flaws I see in myself seem magnified when I see them in her. So yes, up front, I am dealing with a pride issue here - I totally get that and know that the problem is mine. Still....

I find myself begging her to please stop talking and just listen (like I have learned that lesson yet.) I ask her over and over again not act so desperate for a friend's attention. I see social faux pas in her that actually cause me physical pain because I remember a time in my own life where I did something similar and opened myself up for ridicule and embarrassment. How many times I have put my foot in my mouth....ugh, I cannot even think about it.

And I experience the same old paradox. As a parent, I want to spare her all of the hard lessons that I have had to learn. Yet I know she has to learn them for herself so she can grow and mature into the person that God wants and needs her to be.

I know that so many of her characteristics that bug me now are what will make her an exceptional adult: strong willed convictions, the ability to speak her mind, creativity that knows no bounds, a desire to meet everyone and do everything, the ability to argue with a wall - OK, had to throw that last one in - she would make a great attorney. Scott and I are convinced she will either be a lawyer or end up on a stage somewhere - same difference, right?

I wish I knew why it is so easy for me to focus on what frustrates me about my child instead of what is so beautiful about her. This is definitely where our personalities diverge. Despite my hen-pecking and nagging, this sweet angel is so kind, so loving, and so caring about others. Her ability to show compassion is way beyond my own. Some of this I know is due to a child's innocence. But a big heaping helping is her gift to recognize someone in need, someone who is left out, someone who lost. I am not surprised when her Sunday school teacher tells me how Eliza Grace, without any provocation, asks a new child to join their activities, hugs her and says, "Hi, I'm your new friend. Come play with us!"

Or when I mention that an adult friend has not been feeling well and she comes to me 10 minutes later with a get well card she just made and asks if she can mail it.

And when she complements her brother on the block tower he just created, as if it was the most magnificent structure ever completed.

And really, how angry can you be when your little girl climbs in your bed at 3am and says, "don't worry Mommy, I didn't have a bad dream, I just wanted to snuggle with you because I know it makes you happy."

Her natural ability to support and uplift others is something that I pray my nagging will never curtail.

She may have inherited some of the worst of me, but she is absolutely the best of God's love. I love my little girl's heart.

Eliza Grace "performing" in her paper gown at her 6 yr old check up

Sissy & Willby loving on each other

Eliza Grace and her friend Jadon having lunch before roller skating