Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A Public Service Announcement

Married women: I have a public service announcement that I need to share with you.

This is something that has been been weighing on my mind for a few years and I feel it is time for me to voice my feelings on the matter.

You see, along with the spoken vows we all made at the altar during our wedding ceremonies, there were some unspoken vows that were inherently included.

Today I must, for the good of the land, mention one of these unspoken vows. Especially as I and my peers are marching (albeit slowly!) towards the half century mark and our bodies are changing in subtle ways.

Therefore, let it be known that, as wife, it is your sworn duty to ensure that your husband does not leave your home with any undue amounts of nose or ear hair.

It had to be said.

Now I know there some are men who are very careful with their grooming skills, for which I am grateful. However, there are also others who tend to forget these seemingly minor details.

It is your job to make sure they are clipped, plucked or shorn of this unsightly growth.

Because, seriously, if I have to sit in one more four hour meeting listening and speaking to a man with field of nose hairs that NEARLY TOUCH HIS UPPER LIP, I may likely pass out right there on the conference room table.

Not to mention, the gentleman sitting next to me that surely needs a hearing device because there is no way sound can make it past the forest that is exploding from his ear.

Ladies, this is serious. It is our job to ensure our husbands do not resemble 85 year old men at the ripe age of 43. When they are 85, go for it. But until then, hand them a nose/ear hair trimmer and offer to assist.

It is for the good of the land!

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